1.7.04

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up in surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
--dido

right before the new year mike and i did something that will either make us wealthy or cause us to divorce: we created a budget. we've both read the millionaire next door, and we know that having a budget and sticking to it is an essential part of money management and wealth-building. but even knowing this, it's still hard to have a budget. and it's not that our budget is too restrictive -- mike makes a decent salary and it's more than enough to support a family of three. it's just the "thought" of restrictions that's hard. also, i'm having a hard time adjusting to the fact that i no longer bring in an income. it's all me; mike's ok with it. but the little voice inside of me says, "of course he's ok with it; he's a male who feels good about being a provider. you're a female who is trying to figure out a happy medium between typically traditional and typically modern female roles. you're screwed." so am i betty crocker or betty friedan? am i comfortable or uncomfortable in the role of domestic goddess? i'd like to think i'm ok with it so i say, "bring on the budget!"

with my new budget in mind i went to the sporting goods store yesterday to buy ankle weights for my body sculpting class. like a good little shopper, i checked out the clearance racks before leaving the store. i found a great pair of columbia sportswear white linen capri pants marked down from $40 to $7.97. plus, the sign on the rack promised an additional 25% off all items ending in .97 cents. score! this purchase will surely fit into anyone's definition of a budget. hmmm, now why is it that i feel that i'm saving money when actually i'm spending money? puzzling. anyway, i lugged my box of weights and my new pants to the register. as the clerk was ringing them up i commented, "these are 25% off, right?" he gave me a blank look. i explained about the sign. he announced over the loudspeaker, "price check on womens' apparel." i cringed. the woman behind me set her venti latte on the counter with a sigh of exasperation. i knew what she was thinking because it's what i would have thought back when i was single with large of amounts of discretionary purchasing power, "lady, my fancy coffee drink costs more than your silly discount. i would gladly give you the $2.00 you're saving if you would just hurry the f*ck up!" luckily, my time has literally no monetary value anymore. emily's mood is what dictates how much time i'm willing to spend on any one task: if she's fussy, i'm quick; if she's happy, i'm slow. it's that simple. anyway, after several rounds with the salesperson in charge of womens' apparel, "the 20-40% off rack? no, the 25% off all items ending in .97 cents rack. oh," i got my 25% off and proudly walked out of the store with my bag of $25.00 weights and $5.00 pants. hurray for budgets!

on another domestic note, my holiday decorations are put away. yay for me! christmas tree ornaments are the coolest things; trying to stay (what i think is) zen about the chore of taking down the christmas tree, i think about each ornament as i remove it from the tree. the memories they evoke are amazing. there are very few ornaments i have that i can't remember where they're from and/or who gave them to me. based on a 3-minute conversation i had with the HR lady who gave me my exit interview from ianywhere, i got this crazy idea that i'll get emily an ornament every year and then when she's grown, i'll give her the box of ornaments for her own tree. thinking this through, i realized that i run the risk of sending her into therapy once i burden her with a box of crap so precious she must never part with it. also, this project is do-able with one kid, but what about when we have another? i have to make sure i get each of these kids an ornament of their own every year plus i have to keep all of them until they're grown? and not just grown as in out of the house and in college. i mean, who would give a transient college student a box of christmas tree ornaments? i don't want to have to start freaking out when i find out my daughter "can't find" her box of ornaments and "thinks" she may have left them in that apartment she lived in for 3 months last summer. or maybe they're in her ex-boyfriend's garage or at least the garage at the place where he used to live. no, i would have to keep these boxes of ornaments (and the boxes are growing before my very eyes) until my kids were at least graduated and in their own homes. and if we have a son, he would have to be married. good lord, now we're talking 30 plus years from now. and do i continue to buy ornaments every year past their 18th? ahhhhh!!!! i have a better idea. i'll just let them take whatever ornaments they want from my private collection once they express an interest in having any/all of them. who knows which ornaments will mean the most to them? i'll let them decide when the time is right. besides, i didn't budget for 70 new christmas tree ornaments plus the cost of maintenance and storage, now did i?

xoxo
mary [mary @ marytsao.com]




©copyright 2004 mary tsao