mary tsao: journal: identity crisis

2004 . . . 2003 2002

7.15.04

the hardest part about quitting your job to stay home with your kid(s) is keeping in touch with your own identity, especially that part of your identity that has to do with your chosen career.

in our new house, both mike and i have our own offices. the thought of my own home office is both exciting and frightening; i've been thinking a lot lately about my on-hold career, although it's easy for me to completely forget about the life -- and the career -- i had before kid(s). mothering and being pregnant takes so much out of you; energy tends to be reserved for doing things like laundry or cleaning toys off the floor. i worry that i will be gone from the field of tech writing for too long, that my skills will be outdated, that my resume will be stale. i worry that the time i'm spending on my moms club newsletter is for naught [professionally, not personally], and that being editor of a moms club newsletter is a job you never should include on a professional resume. i wonder if the time i spend volunteering for this organization would be better spent volunteering for the local chapter of my professional organization, the society for technical communication (STC).

i also worry about what will happen when i have two kids and no time even to be editor of the moms club newsletter. will i be ok without at least some small connection to my chosen profession? or will the months go by, and then the years, and i will no longer have a career, just a bullet point on a resume that hasn't been updated in years. then what? how hard will it be to re-enter the workforce as technical writer who has spent the last (x) years staying home, raising kids, and occasionally writing in her journal?

i talked my concerns over with mike and we agreed that i would concentrate 100% on emily and her brother for at least six months after his birth, but then i'm going to try either a part-time or a full-time work from home situation doing either technical writing, freelance writing, or a combination of both. we'll get a nanny or do a nanny share with another family. the great thing about our new house is that our offices are separated from the rest of the house by a hallway and a door. my office even has it's own entrance. i know it won't be easy working while the kids are home -- even with a nanny -- but i think i can make it work. i'm looking forward to giving it a try.